I have sat down to write this post many many times in the last several weeks.  Something kept nudging me to blog about it, but my words just never felt enough to explain these last several weeks.   You see a bit over a month ago, one of Bella’s best friends, our neighbor, like a sister to my boys, a second daughter to Kevin and I, a daughter to our dear friends, died of the flu suddenly.  Never would I have imagined at 9  I would have to pull my daughter out of her 4th grade classroom, take her into a empty room at school to tell her her best friend was going to be leaving us on Earth. Never would I have thought I would then take her to the hospital to say her goodbyes to her best friend. Never would I have thought I would have to watch my daughter climb into the hospital bed of her best friend, lay with her, playing with her hair, caressing her face, kissing her forehead.  Never would I have thought I would have to hear her tell me “mom, I don’t want to leave”,  after saying goodbye.  Never would I have thought my 9 year old daughter would be a pallbearer at her best friends funeral. Never would I have thought that I would find myself wondering if my daughter’s constant need to look at photos, watch video, create videos, and create a shrine like bedroom of sable was normal.  Never would I have thought I would have to pray for the words to speak to Holly and Scott and their kids because I was truly at a loss for words.  It was hard. It’s still hard. It still doesn’t make sense most days. It still feels like a dream. And while my families hearts hurt so much it is such a small fraction to the hurt the Gibson family feels.

And while I never thought I would have to witness such loss of a beautiful little girl and watch her family, experience a pain I can’t even begin to try to understand, I also never thought such loss could bring so much light. The way the Gibson family has been so open and transparent with their story and their faith has been a true gift.  I am forever changed having walked this with them.   The only way they knew how to deal with this unthinkable pain was to love with everything they had.  The days following Sable’s death they spent time blessing others…  the Gibson’s went to the fire department to thank the responders, they visited Sable’s old teachers bearing gifts and thanking them for being Sable’s teachers, they went into Sable’s classroom and delivered pink stones to her classmates, they went to children’s hospital to thank the staff at the hospital for their care of Sable, they took lunch to their church staff, they delivered bracelets to Bella and her three friends thanking the girls for being such good friends to her.  Above all, they shared their story, they shared their hope.  A time when we were trying to be there for them, they were comforting and loving us.  Whether you heard their story on Facebook, from a friend, on the news, or you were close to the family and experienced the story first hand, as you walked this with them, not only did your heart hurt for them, but something beautiful happened at the same time. People hearing Sable’s story, felt the love of Jesus being poured out from the Gibson family.  And the love just spread.  Even with all their hurt, this incredibly family knew that while God did not do this to their baby girl, He would use this to change lives and they were going to take an active part in all of it. The way the Gibson family loved others and the way this community wrapped their arms around the Gibsons.  It was incredible. It encourages me to be better, love better, give more. No wonder Sable was such an incredible little girl, she had a family that showed her what loving others like Jesus looked like.

Tonight when I was at the Gibson’s house they had a saying on their walls from C.S Lewis that I just loved…. “Don’t shine so that others see you, shine so that through you other see Him”.  Gosh the Gibson family certainly have lived this out.   #shinelikesable

Sable will always always have a place in the hearts of our family.  This is the little girl that welcomed us to our new house, almost 4 years ago with balloons and cookies. Sable and the Gibson family were by far the best thing about moving to our new neighborhood. From the beginning weeks in our new neighborhood our kids were inseparable.  Capturing frogs in the pond, trips to the park, ice cream ventures, visits to the pool, trips to the mall, LOTS of sleepovers, basketball games, Halloweens together.  I told Holly in those beginning years, I LOVED having Crew and Sable as neighbors because my kids, by their example, learned to play so well together.  They were a great foursome! While still friends, Jacob and Crew got in their own groove, but the Sable and Bella duo never changed.  From most people’s perspectives they couldn’t be more opposite. Bella being super outgoing, a huge spitfire, and LOUD… Sable from most perspectives, super quiet and shy, to herself. HOWEVER, for those who had the honor of REALLY getting to know Sable, once she became comfortable she was so much more than that!  Sable was of course thoughtful, caring, always thinking of others.  We all saw that in her the moment she walked into the room. But that girl was also so incredibly FUNNY, she had her crazy side that we all LOVED! She was such a great little spitfire sidekick with Bella.  They brought out the best in each other.  Such a great little duo. Man I sure miss them.  I am so incredibly thankful, while way too short, for the time we had with her and all the photos and videos that we have of those moments together. We will be forever changed. Bella will be forever changed.   Bella and our family experienced a family and their heartache, but we also experience their hope, their faith, their trust that one day we will see our sweet Sable again.   So our entire family will walk away from this praising a God for His promises and knowing without a doubt we will see our sweet Sable again.

Today is Bella’s birthday.  TEN YEARS OLD!  It is incredibly crazy that my baby girl is now double digits.  I couldn’t be more proud of the amazing little girl she has become.  She is so outgoing, such a little spitfire, so driven, so competitive, but also so incredibly compassionate, so thoughtful, so loyal, and so fun to be around. I am so incredibly lucky to be her mom.  For her birthday today, I picked her and a few girls up from school, got some ice cream (of course – she LOVES sugar), left Menchies and went to see the Gibsons.  When I asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday, that was her agenda.   I think today is just another reminder that Sable is gone.  But being able to give Holly and Scott a hug, have a cupcake in their kitchen, walk and explore Sables room.. it all made her so happy.  Because in our hearts we know Sable would be with us celebrating Bella, she should be with us celebrating Bella, but she is not.  So we are trusting that His plan is way better and bigger than anything we would muster up on our own.

You all I have so many pictures. With me being a photographer and Holly always taking photos, I could seriously make a huge photo album of pictures of just Sable and Bella (which is on our summer to do list). I wanted to share a few (ok more than a few) with you all.  These memories make us smile, they make us laugh, they make us cry.  Love you sweet girl.  Can’t wait to hug you again! xoxo

When we first moved to Mason…

In January….

 

 

A year ago today….

They make me giggle…

forever best friends!

class party… they have been in every class together since kindergarten xoxo

 

Entertaining all of us on New Years Eve…

You all need to watch these videos, so so funny!….

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so many halloweens together…

haha!

I love them….

our best friend shoot…. and if you want to see more, here is the video to go with it.

 

tonight with the Gibsons. Holly and Scott we love you all so much!  xoxo

Please continue to pray for the Gibson family and for all that loved Sable. xoxo