My Dearest Brady,
One.. I am really having a hard time believing you are one year old. It seems like just yesterday I was in the doctors office scheduling the date for my c-section anticipating your arrival and looking forward to seeing who you looked like, how your brother and sister would react to you, and most importantly how perfect you would feel in my arms. I will never forget holding you in the hospital for the first time thinking to myself… gosh I am lucky. This little perfect gift from God is here. The final piece to our family. We were complete.. the family of 5 that I had always dreamed of. You really have been beyond perfect since the moment you arrived. In the hospital I remember the nurse telling me… gosh, he is laid back. ”Really, I said, he is 3 days old, of course all he is going to do is sleep”. “Oh no, she said, you can tell and beleive me, some babies don’t just sleep” haha! the days that followed my friend Angela came to photograph our family and you slept like a dream. I am pretty sure she photographed you for a full 6 hours and you didn’t cry once. I have luckily had 3 very sweet children who love to cuddle with their mom, but you.. from the days you could pick up your arms on your own and wrap them around my neck you have. You give the BEST HUGS! Still every time I hold you your arms go straight around my neck, you head on my shoulder and your sweet grin speaks to me as if saying “thanks mom… I really love you, you make me feel so safe and special”. And I just want to say right back, thanks little man, I feel exactly the same. Once you get your initial cuddle you will pull your arms from my neck and tuck them between us and snuggle right into me. I love it… those moments are the moments that I wish you could stay an infant forever. But then I turn my head and I see all you are becoming, the way that now you are getting a bit older and are able to play and interact with your sibblings, the way you take your toy trucks and push them around the floor, the way your sister can now take your hand and walk with you around the house. And while I know the constant cuddle time and hugs that naturally occur with having an infant will become less, those moments will be replaced with moments of laughter between you and your sibblings and well, that makes my heart sing with joy. You are a mix of your sister and your brother. Your eyes shape is that of your sister, yet the color of your brothers, your personality and the way when a stranger talks to you, you pull into your mom and turn your head with shyness, that is certainly your brother (your sister would have shouted hi, haha), the fiesty little temper that comes out not very often, but when it does reminds me of your sisters spunk (which she gets from me of course, haha). The joys of being a third child is I can watch how much your brother and sister adore you… when Bella was born Jacob was really too young to understand what was going on. But Bella and Jacob, they have understood from the very beginning. Once we got past you being a boy and not the girl named Molly they wanted (wink wink), you have been loved more than any little boy could wish for. The whispers I hear under Jacob’s sweet breath saying “Brady, I love you so much” and the way Bella thinks she is in fact your mommy as she carries you around the house, or the moments in the shower when you literally crawl in circles around your sister stopping every few moments to smile and giggle… all I can say is thank you. You have brought our family even closer. Although I know I am not perfect and I certainly make mistakes I hope you always know how much I love you.. how I want nothing more for you to grow up know how much I wished, dreamed and hoped for you and how everynight I thank God for all you have given me and our family and how I can’t wait to see the amazing little person you grow to be because I already know you are one amazing little man.
I love you,